I am in a foul mood today.And I think I have for some weeks.
I’m genuinely cross about being the only single in my group of work friends. I can’t stand being the only one any more. Being third-wheel-Suze is pissing me off something chronic.
As previously discussed I’m not interested in defining myself with another person nor am I desperate to be wed or get sprogged up.
But my loneliness, particularly in these days of bad weather and snow, is now palpable.
I find it tough to see Lucie and Sebastian sharing a lassi after a red-faced Lucy has burnt her mouth out on a fiery curry, it hurts to see Paul and Isabelle rowing over petty mishaps and couples holding hands in the street just make me feel bitter.
It would be nice to be able to call someone when you see something that tickles you – when you see a three foot snow-rendering of a man’s genitalia like I did today – or have someone to share time with, cuddle up to for warmth or just even be quiet with.
The craving is a bit like a craving for drugs. The urge can sometimes take over, almost to the point of having an almost physical hold on you.
The other night the loneliness pushed me to the edge and I rang Luke, just to have a bit of banter. The opiate type effects of sharing lasted for a short while, then I found myself craving more.
I don’t know what to do. I’ve lost all my patience.
Suze x
3 comments:
Hey Suze,
I can't say I can relate, but I certainly understand how you feel. Although our situations are not the same at all, as I have Simon, I still know what it is like to be alone. The seeing him only once a month or at the moment even just once every two or three months is so hard. And seeing all the happy (or even not so happy) couples really makes me sick sometimes.
Being alone sucks!
Suzy, hang in there. I know how you feel. Couple's are everywhere, and with Valentine's just around the corner, it is even worse!!!
Suzy,
I understand how you feel. Everybody seems to have somebody. And this just blows. The love songs on the radio are depressing, the valentine's ads about getting your special someone something-depressing, everywhere you look people are in love, lost in each others eyes. Yup thats depressing too. Try talking to your friends about how you feel. Sometimes, they can shed a lil' light on your feelings, and maybe even make you feel better. Roxy
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