Monday, October 23, 2006

Operation under fire


As part of ongoing Distraction Ops I yomped out into the wilds with girly pals on Sunday for a spot of sharp shooting fun in the form of a day of paintballing.

We arrived in our little runabouts at 9am, not many hours after arriving home from the previous nights drink and dance activities, and found the place in a muddy quagmire.

As the realisation dawned on us that our team of 14 were all togged up in wildly inappropriate footwear, consisting of white trainers and silver glittery ballet pumps, and clothing, ie small pink t-shirts and boot-cut jeans, we realised that a completely different kind of team were assembling close by.

We watched in shock and awe as a group of about 15 men extricated themselves from a variety of heavy duty Dadmobiles - Volvos, Mondeos and the like - dressed in various degrees of military clothing.

I kid you not, these guys were serious. Not only were they pulling on British Army issue webbing (the new stuff that not all Our Boys (tm The Sun) have received yet) and attaching paint grenades to their hips, but it was also revealed that they had a cache of customised paint guns they had brought from home. They were clearly prepared for war.

Now I am not one to sneer disapprovingly at other people's pursuits (I mean you can go to paperclip racing events for all I care - as long as it makes you happy) but these guys had come along on the Sunday at the start of half term - so it what did they expect as opponents - the hard core of the SAS?

True to our expectations two gaggles of tiny boy scouts - possibly cubs - had also arrived for some shoot 'em up fun. About 50 per cent of the kids were clearly hyper whilst the others were trying to find ways of pulling up their oversize overalls so that they didn't trip up on the legs - not the most taxing of opponents.

As we checked for the arrival of the Dadmobile team's air support unit, the paintball marshalls looked on nervously and puzzled over which team to match up with the Gung-ho Volvo boys, with their paintball AK47s and their tactical assault vests.

In the end, evidently seeing the mixture or terror and smirking disdain on our faces, they decided to pit kids against grown ups.

We watched as a troop of small cubs traipsed off, all but swamped by overalls and goggles, followed by the gun-toting Mondeo Men who hi-fived each other to whoops of "See you on the other side", as if they were trying to breach the beach head on Omaha.

A few minutes later we heard distant gun-shots and explosions, in the manner of the opening scenes of Saving Private Ryan.

We were later told, after a day of discovering the joys of localised bruising, that the cubs escaped without serious harm...

5 comments:

txdave said...

Saw your request on share my blog,and I like the way you write, although pink is not my fav color.

Please take a look at my blogs for ideas on adding photos, colors, etc.

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http://browniesforbreakfast.blogspot.com

Suzy Hepworth said...

Thank you. Unfortunately pink is my favourite colour so there it is. Love the pix on your blogs but wondering if my slightly skewed message is the sort of thing you'd really approve of ;-)

Anonymous said...

Hi Suzy
Thanks for you comments in share my blog. Loved reading yours. I would put myself in the LOW catergory (Look Obese in White)

Happy blogging

Anonymous said...

Sadness that you didnt film the Saddo's ('Let go Off road'). Surrender in first minute is the only option. Or squat at base of tree and read poetry. Get's them every time.

Anonymous said...

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