When it comes to the complex relationship issue of gameplaying people hold the most polar of opinions on it in the same way that they do marmite or Angelina Jolie...they either love it or hate it.
On one hand some believe it is manipulative and deviant. On the other there is the camp that believes it is a necessary tool to force the hand of a party who would otherwise keep their cards close to their chests. Most men (from an exhaustive poll of about seven) believe it forms the main body of evidence in the case of blokes V evil women...
Usually I fall into the first - I'm not manipulative and think it is quite odd when people resort to relationship chess.
But now I'm in a bit of a pickle. A grand six weeks into the whole Luke phase I find myself in a quandary over the whole gameplaying issue.
The main motivators are firstly that I find Luke inscrutable, his emotions seem to lie behind a locked door, and secondly that I feel like I'm doing all the running.
Both these things ring alarm bells to me because I've never been out with a person who behaves like this - usually I seem to get swept off my feet by a wild romantic - who usually ends up wanting me to take charge in the relationship (the antithesis of the partnership I'd prefer).
It makes me think that he isn't really into me at all.
But because I think I've done all the running I'm not sure if there has been room for him to manoeuvre and express how he thinks in actions.
Now comes the game plan...
I'd already planned to go away sans Luke this weekend and we have no plans at the end of this week so I've decided to maintain radio silence and gauge the response.
Thing is - I don't know if this is a game I can win.
Suze x
10 comments:
I hate to say it my dear friend, but to get a man you have to play the game. If you really want him! I say this from experience! I have been meodramtically married to the same man for 9 years. Gone through DRAMA with him. They only thing that got us through is love.
In the beginning I played the game, went by the rules. I acted like I was not interested in him at all. Now he is mine all mine!
Something to think about, so take the weekend away from the person and never call. if they really are interested they will make the first move. Play cat and mouse, hard to get. It really works, we humans are very simple creators who like to play games!
lotte
Suzie,
Sounds like you may have a had a little inspiration. Do you believe they play games consciencly or unconsciencly. Some people many people do not even know they are playing games with your heart. UNTIL YOUR GONE.... ROXY
I am not sure I am getting where you are coming from. Why play a game at all?? Life throws enough at us, doesn't it? Relationships involve people, and most people hate being "played" with, so how about trying something diffrent, and not playing at all?
http://memoirsofaimateswife.blogspot.com/
I can see your point Mrs Inmate but Roxy kinda got to the core of my dilemma - I do feel like someone is playing games with my heart and am scared of putting myself on the line for someone who doesn't care or worse still isn't willing to.
What really worries me is getting hard against the world and love in general - not whether or not someone approves of me enough to care.
And Lotte - love the attitude!
Suze x
Suzie,
I completely understand, but one thing you can not do, I develop a hard, calluced heart. Once you do that, then you are only inevitable hurting yourself and the ones who have inevitably loved you. Once they are inside your heart, you should never run from them...... because if they truely love you, when you pop you head out from underneath "your" rock, they will be sitting on your waiting for you to come out........Roxy
I nearly thought about breaking the radio silence today - couldn't decide.
So I logged onto this ace site - http://www.sylloge.com/5k/entries/162/
and the computer said no. So I didn't!
Suze x
Suzie,
Just a random comment in regards to the commnet that you left on my BLOG. You said you need to love yourself, why are you placing yourself in a game like this. That is all it is. Your life is much better than a PAWN in this GAME.
Chew on those rtocks, and get back to me.... ROXY.
I have been chewing on these rocks and have come to
the conclusion that I'm just going to be myself. The
game was abandoned at 16.18 GMT.
Now I don't think I give a monkeys - I have my
girlfriends and my family and unless someone can
really make a positive difference to my life I won't
properly open my heart to him...
Suze x
VERY TRUE MY FRIEND, A significant other is supposed to compliment our lives not hinder us... And if they hinder us, are they worth it? ROXY
I can totally understand your fear of getting hard against the world. And that is fine, as long as you stay aware of that. Being hard to the world doesn't mean you dont have a heart. Fear of letting someone in your world is normal, I think we all have that.
I guess I am just out there in my way of thinking. To me, love is a wonderful thing, and something I longed for before I found my one.
I can understand where you and Roxy are coming from, but then again, she knows my views on it.
Good luck with everything!!!
Keep writting, your blog is so interresting.
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