IN my heart of hearts I can honestly say religion has never really taken in my soul, but I have always held the Bible is a great design for living.When I was mulling over this post I remembered Proverbs 31:10-31 - Who can find a woman of worth? for her price is far above rubies.
After posting my analysis of gameplaying I decided that really things could not continue as they were with Luke. I suspected he wanted the trappings of a relationship but not the commitment - something that was confirmed when I spoke to him.
"I'm just not in a relationshippy place," he said.
My head nearly exploded off the top of my neck and I nearly screamed: "What the hell does that mean?!?" But I kept my cool and paused.
Then something occurred to me. I wasn't asking for marriage, children or a mortgage and two kids or even love right now - I was just asking for a chance of real intimacy - something I truly deserve. If I admitted now that I was able to settle for anything less I was selling myself short.
I had to ask for what I needed - even though I knew that the price would most probably be that Luke would walk away. The importance wasn't actually getting what I wanted - it was having the dignity and courage to expect it.
So I asked.
"Look," I told him. "I am a good woman, I am strong, determined, intelligent and warm. I know what I deserve and this isn't it. I've told you I like you and I've said what I need, If you can't provide it that's fine. But you only walk away from me once - there are no second chances with me.
"Decide what you want and tell me on Monday. But remember you have one chance, that's it."
So he agreed to go away and think about it. It's Friday now - he has three days 'til Monday.
I aspire to be a woman of worth - I hope I will find that someone who realises my true value.
But I refuse to sell myself for anything less than a price beyond rubies.
Suze x
7 comments:
Suzy,
Thanks for the kind words you wrote on my blog. They are very appreciated.
I love your style as well; I will definitely enjoy staying up on your writings.
Also, I am glad you are refuse to go for anything less than rubies. The market is just horrible these days anyways and your commodity sounds very valuable :)
XX
Jonathan
I am also linking to your blog!
Hi there :)
I like you blog too! Very hopelessly romantic are we - sigh -
But let not your heart be troubled, it only took me 33 years and one failed marriage to get it right :^/ LOL...
You are right to not just settle. There is time enough to get it right- and your worth is far above that of rubies my dear.
I will be back to visit you often.
Slainte~
Rachelle
Suzie,
Ok let me first tell you, that are seeming like you are placing your worth in a man. You can not do that, you need to only find that in yourself. You can determine your own value, no one else can.
Second of all, without stepping on your toes, I do not know what religion you are.
There is no reason that you can not be with a man, be it physically or emotionally. I understand where you are coming from. You were so quick to tell me that it is okay taking me time.You need to also take me time.
This seems to be a pattern for you. As it was a pattern for me. However, I did not realize it was a pattern, until someone pointed it out to me. This was a vicious cycle of self sabotaging behavior that seemed to get "us" no where....So why should we continue?
Suzy, it is great that you are confronting your feelings about yourself, especailly with him. I got the impression that, you put your worth in a man, or the man you are with. Your worth is far beyond rubies, with you simply being you!!!! You are a great writter, and I look forward to reading more.
Cripes, Its hard to argue when you have two different people the same thing!
I don't really think I do put my worth in a man - I had been single by choice for nine months up until December and I have walked away from other relationships, whilst continuing to thrive independent of men.
I think because of the narrow restrictions I place on what I write and the anonymity I write under it is difficult to reflect all of me.
I do believe I should be valued by the man I'm with - and I don't see that as the only measure of my worth - there are other things of greater importance in my life - friends, family and work.
But I see where you guys are coming from and I will mull this over cette weekend...
Suze x
Came to this site to get this quote to send to a man that doesn't know my worth, but I do. Another quote is don't cast your pearls before swine. I am a widow for several years, and my husband before he died told me the only thing I hate leaving in this life is you. Ladies why should I or any other women settle for less than real love.
that pic looks more like an amethyst
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