We're after the same man.
This is an insurmountable problem we feel we can only resolve by calling the Jeremy Kyle Show (a UK equivalent of Jerry Springer - except the aforementioned Mr Kyle is ruder and more opinionated).
Could be a bit of an odd episode though - me on a chair on the left, Portia on the right and a seat with a DVD case in the middle.
Of course I forgot to mention that the man at the centre of the row is the 'Incredible Instant Adoring Boyfriend' DVD that Portia purchased as my Christmas gift.
It's a fascinating DVD which tends to make comic assumptions about women's needs - with the 'Incredible Instant Adoring Boyfriend' telling you things like "You're an amazing driver", "Why bother with a diet, you don't need to, you're amazing! Here have some cake" and finally "Will you marry me" - all in all amusing but quite atrocious.
It got me wondering though how much easier it would be if you could order an instant boyfriend who was on your wavelength from the word "Go".
For those of us who aren't destined to meet a fate-picked soul-mate it would be much easier if we could skip the awkward "feelings" talks, the embarrassment of expressing unrequited emotions and ultimately heartache.
For example if Luke and I could have spoken the same language from the off how much easier would that have been?
I mean neither Portia or I have the time or the energy to try and work out the meaning of men and their thoughts and actions.
P and I were chatting about the concept of the instant boyfriend on the phone as she tried to reduce my hurt over the end of the Luke situation.
It would be so much easier for P had she found out from the beginning that baby Bob's dad Tim was a complete tw*t.
We could both be with our perfect men - hopefully rich, handsome and sensitive in a rugged masculine way - on a desert island somewhere - bliss.
But mid-way through our rose-tinted discussion on the subject Portia said: "It's all right saying this - but just think if I hadn't met Tim I wouldn't have Bob. And Bob's my world."
I reflected on my own past - if I had not met Graham - my first love who I got engaged to and whose heart I broke and who broke mine astronomically in return - I would never have started on my fabulous career - which in turn would've meant I would have never meant P or Paul and Isabelle.
In fact my life would be unrecognisably different.
And in that Portia and I agreed that however tempting the idea of the 'Incredible Instant Adoring Boyfriend', in reality it would take out a huge bit of the fun of the journey.
And in the journey of life we really need the pain because without it the fun of life wouldn't stand out - like light without the dark - and monotonous fun can't be fun at all can it?
Oh and I'm maintaining custody of 'Incredible Instant Adoring Boyfriend' - but Portia will have him every second weekend...
Suze x
4 comments:
This entry I can relate to so much, especially in relation to things with Ella and I. I always think "it would be much easier if we could skip the awkward "feelings" talks, the embarrassment of expressing unrequited emotions". xx
I like the poll you have on the right. I voted.
I couldn't agree with you more, we need the pain, it allows us to see the little things in life that would normally pass us by or be taken for granted. As much as we all hate pain, we grow from it, mature from it, and hopefully learn from it.
Although, the whole boyfriend thing, that would be cool at times too!!! Just for fun of course.
Yep, I also agree about needing pain. I think a lot of people confuse looking for happiness with avoiding sadness, and end up in a very beige kind of place where they feel nothing for fear of feeling pain. I'd rather be miserable than feel nothing at all!
The boyfriend thing is pricesless, though! I wonder how my flesh-and-blood boyfriend would feel about a little competition..?
MJ
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